


Never is an Awfully Long Time

by bloubird_scribe



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 21:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloubird_scribe/pseuds/bloubird_scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. </p><p>You probably can't. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. <br/>Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.<br/>Man alone measures time.<br/>Man alone chimes the hour.<br/>And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.<br/>A fear of time running out."</p><p>― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never is an Awfully Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> So this took me a couple months to write. Started writing when I went for a drive and watched the sunrise. Didn't stop till it felt right. It's not as long as I would like it to be, but I hope you all enjoy! (: xx
> 
> Title credit goes to the author of Peter Pan.
> 
> Yeah. I went there.

\--

They'd been running for awhile now. 

Maybe a couple of months. Okay, maybe not really running, per se, but escaping. Just driving from place to place, never really had an intention to settle, but more to just keep going, leave everything behind. It wasn't like they hated home, more that they knew they could go out, see more than their city and their lives had to offer (even if their lives had helped them see more than the average person.) 

So they packed up and left. They stuck to other smaller towns though, big cities were more of an "once in a blue moon" occasion. 

Nice motels or an inn, or maybe even a bed and breakfast would serve as their home for a night - but never more than two nights - just to recuperate, before they took to the roads again. They'd leave about an hour before sunrise, when it was still dark out, just because it was nice to have some peace and quiet in the morning while soft tunes played in the background, and the sun rose behind them as their car travelled from town to town.

They're at a little bed and breakfast by the sea now, it's an hour and a half before sunrise. They're sitting at the base of the lighthouse near the pier, just watching the moon's light scatter across the water's surface before they grab a bagel and a cuppa and head out again. 

It's not that cold, but it's cold enough that they've each got a thick jumper on, and their favourite woolen socks. They've put their duffels in the boot of the car already, checked out and paid the two night fee, all they have to do now is leave. 

It's quiet out. The way they like it before sunrise. They're cuddled together, and when Zayn shivers, Liam nudges him, says "Time to go, yeah?"

Zayn nods, his nose red and cold. "Yeah, okay."

They're on the road again in five minutes, Liam driving this time, and Zayn has his feet propped up on the dashboard, sipping at his tea and feeding Liam bits of the bagel.

"Left or right?" Liam asks between a bite.

Zayn mulls it over, thinks since they took a left into this town, they should keep going, see what the town over might have. It's weird, considering they don't go to a town next door after a stay, but he likes the sea. One little place won't hurt.

"Right." Zayn says.

Liam raises a brow and pats his knee. "You like the nautical setting?" 

"'S not so bad you know. If there isn't much of a fish smell. Besides, we never stay near the piers. It's good." The "and it reminds me of stripes and red pants and a certain boy who needs a boat" is implied, but not spoken.

Liam nods and puts his signal on, then turns, sticking to the coast. Zayn looks out the window, admires the peace and quiet and the stillness of everything. Nothing was this still back home, even in the mornings. It all seemed too busy, too active. No sense of rest or actual completion of a day, just endless breaths of time, with the sun and moon waking them up and lulling them to sleep between each one. 

He's glad they decided to do this, that they decided to leave together and see whatever they wanted. It's helped Zayn understand that days can end and you can start over, instead of waiting more than twenty four hours for one thing to end and another to begin. The hustle and bustle just was getting to be too much. He needed a break. More than a few days or a few weeks, but actual time. Plus, he was never really good at dealing with any of it.

Maybe they were running. Whatever. He didn't care.

Liam agreed that he needed it too. It's just that so much was happening. He was hurting because of the fact that nothing was staying the same anymore, and that it was all changing. He admits he was a bit hypocritical when he started changing, how he shaved his head and the next thing you know it he's getting tattoos and...it just wasn't easy. None of it was. Nothing was solid, nothing was permanent - the ink on his skin doesn't count - and time just wouldn't stop.

So when Zayn asked Liam if he could drop him off somewhere, Liam agreed, but ended up packing his bags and tagging along. This way, time didn't matter at all, the stillness, the solidarity, that was what counted, and they controlled it. It was what they'd always wanted. Something no Santa Claus could ever give to them.

\--

"Where are we now?"

"I think Edinburgh might be to our west. Too close?"

"No, it's fine. Can we head to Kent next though?"

"Zayn that's...isn't that where we-"

"Yeah, I know. Just drive by? Just to see it?"

Liam didn't reply, focused on the road and the pinks of the sky as the sun came up. 

Since they'd left the coast, heading towards the center of things, Liam could sense Zayn had a destination in mind. It was risky, just a bit, but he understood.

"I miss them too, you know. It's okay." Liam said after a moment. 

Zayn looked at him, rose a brow. "Pardon?"

"The boys. I miss them too."

"Oh." Zayn says, "Right." Pause, then "We don't have to go to Kent. Sorry, that was stupid of me to say. We can just head to that cottage you mentioned. By that little carnival?"

"It wasn't stupid." Liam replies, "We'll go where ever. It doesn't matter."

"So the cottage then?" The elder of them insists. And Liam knows that that's that.

+++

Postcard #37

Hey boys! 

We've just left some small town near Edinburgh. Don't know where we're headed next (as usual,) but you know that when we get there we'll send you another post card. Hope you lot are well. We were gonna head to Kent, but we thought better of it. We miss you boys, miss you a whole lot. See you around, yeah?

Love, Zayn and Liam

P.S. Liam sends Archimedes and Boris his love.

+++

Liam remembers the day they left. It wasn't exactly a formal goodbye. They did just up and leave. Louis called them screaming and yelling, Harry doing sort of the same thing. Niall didn't really call them until two days later, and Liam knew why. He was absolutely hurt. Two of his best friends practically ran away and with no warning. Liam and Zayn got a good scolding from Niall for about an hour.

The boys had a holiday for about two weeks before they had to go back on the road for promo, but since Liam and Zayn couldn't take it anymore, that holiday turned into a hiatus.

It wasn't indefinite, just for a few months. As long as Zayn and Liam needed till they were ready to go home. The fans and the media were told that it was because all of the boys were sick, /very/ sick, from dehydration and exhaustion - which was partly true - and that it would be a little bit until they got back on their feet.

Every now and then Liam wakes up feeling like he should check his hotel room for random knick knacks left by Harry, maybe leftovers from Niall or his clothes missing because Louis was feeling like a klepto that morning, but instead all he finds is Zayn, sound asleep in the bed next to his - or the same bed if that's all the room came with - and he wonders if maybe they should've hijacked the other boys too, made it an escape for the five of them.

But then he'll see Zayn, sleeping soundly and soft snores seeping through his lips, his face so calm and peaceful, and then he remembers that this escape is for the both of them. And they'll see the boys again soon.

Or at least, send them another post card soon.

\--

When Zayn wakes up in the morning, he moves to head to the bathroom to take a quick shower before they leave, but finds that he can't. Liam's got one arm slung across his middle, his head on Zayn's chest, snoring like he hasn't got a care in the world. Zayn smiles, pets Liam's head before he attempts to move again. But it doesn't work, Liam only squeezes Zayn tighter, cuddles closer.

Zayn flinches at the pokiness of Liam's short hairs, and it's then that he realizes "why isn't Liam in his own bed?" He glances to his side just to check, and yep, there's Liam's empty bed, the sheets ruffled and comforter flung to the floor. He glances down at the younger boy, about to open his mouth to wake him up when he hears it - thunder.

It's pouring rain outside, thunder and lightning, the whole nine. It sounds lovely to Zayn, he loves a good storm, but he knows Liam is a tad bit afraid of them - he doesn't exactly like the noise, doesn't really like the fact that they're so loud and you never really know what comes out of it. So it only makes sense that the storm woke him out of his sleep, and that he went to Zayn for comfort.

It's almost time for them to get moving, head to check out and get on the road, but Zayn can't seem to bring himself to wake Liam up. He knows Liam's been driving for the past few days, and he also knows that Liam's got to be tired from all this running. They've been missing the boys a bit more than usual, and it's sort of wearing them down.

Zayn feels a bit at fault for all of this. If he wasn't so moody, if he could've only been better at handling his life, they would be on the road with the boys and Liam wouldn't be so worn out. They'd be on the bus somewhere heading for an interview or something, not in the middle of a small village in Wales, in a motel room in the middle of a thunder storm.

Sometimes Zayn wonders why Liam chose to come with him, besides to control his life for once. He wonders when Liam is going to leave or want to go back, if he'd leave Zayn and go back to the boys alone. 

For now, that thought is pushed aside, because the storm is finally over and Liam's waking up.

+++

Postcard #43

We went to Brighton Pier yesterday, but only for a moment. We just wanted to reminisce a little bit, because we miss you boys. We promise we'll be back soon. We know you're still ticked at us and you have every right to be. We would love to phone you, to text and see what's going on, but you know it's not that easy. We just need a bit more time, okay? We just need to figure out where our heads are at. Maybe you can join us at the end of this, the last few days. We hope you're all alright. Happy Sunday dinner. Save some Nandos for us, yeah?

Love, Liam and Zayn

P.S. We've sent you guys some gifts, hope you like the shirts! They're a bit touristy but Zayn and I tried our best!

+++

"I don't think that we've had this good a fry up since Harry made it last." Zayn mumbles around a mouth full. 

Liam nods, shovels another helping of beans on toast into his mouth, then takes a bite of his eggs and holy mother of god this is heaven on a plate. It's so much better than the normal small breakfast he and Zayn take on the road. He's so glad Zayn let him sleep in for a little or they never would have found the diner and this heavenly meal.

Zayn pushes his bacon onto Liam's plate, and then goes back to his breakfast, nearly inhaling his fried tomatoes. They eat in silence, the chatter of the diner and their groans of appreciation filling the conversation gap. That's the beauty of being with Zayn, Liam thinks, no silence is unnecessary or awkward, because every silence is never really silence, just a pause.

Zayn laughs once, and Liam looks at him with a raised brow. "What?"

"You got a little - here, I'll get it." Zayn says. He reaches across the table and uses his thumb to wipe away crumbs of English muffins at the side of Liam's mouth, then proceeds to suck the crumbs off of his thumb. Liam's heart beat skips a little. He stares at Zayn, watches his mouth move, and then tears his eyes away.

Because what?

After that, they finish their breakfast faster then they normally would, and they down their cups of tea a little too quickly, their tongues just slightly burnt. Their waitress comes by; her name tag reads "Whitley," she's short, brown curly hair up in a ponytail, glasses and freckles, and she smiles at them. It's a bit stereotypical really, but she's wearing a red apron and she has that pot of coffee in her hands and Liam feels as if he and Zayn are in one of those movies about two teenagers who run away and fall in love as they try to find themselves.

Oh. Wait.

... It is partly true, but they aren't finding "themselves," per se, just time. And they definitely aren't falling in love...

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone eat Frank's full English breakfasts as fast as you two. You lot must be hungry. How about coffee and slice of English trifle before you go?" She asks them. She's got a sort of Geordie accent, and Liam sees recognition flash in Zayn's face.

He nods eagerly though, and Whitley smiles, pours coffee into their empty mugs. "I can tell you lot aren't from around here. Boys as good looking as you don't exactly live in these parts."

Liam flushes red. "Well thank you, and no, we're not. We're just traveling, really."

Whitley nods, "That's nice. Always good to run free. Anyway, I'll be back with your trifle in a minute." She takes their dishes and heads to the back, and Zayn leans forward, taps Liam's hand. A shock of electricity shoots through his arm and whoa.

This food must be doing something strange to his brain.

"Mate, I don't think she knows who we are. Didn't even flinch." 

It's true. Whitley had no idea. Even if Zayn's quiff is never up anymore, grown out more than he normally keeps it, and Liam's buzz cut is quite recent, Whitley definitely has no idea that they're from One Direction, probably doesn't even know who One Direction is. 

That's alright with Liam, and it's clearly alright with Zayn. And after their slices of trifle and cup of coffee, Liam makes sure to give her a very generous tip, generous meaning he accidentally may have slipped her a few extra tenners in her tip, you know, "accidentally."

When they hit the road again, Zayn drives this time, and he's cheery. "I'm well fed, we didn't get recognized by a teenage girl, and we just sent the boys a post card and shirts. I feel pretty happy, don't you?"

Liam nods, groans a little bit. "Yeah. But I think maybe I ate too much."

"Are you poorly?" Zayn questions, resting a hand on Liam's forehead. He relaxes into Zayn's touch, the coolness of his hand a slight relief.

"Well, I did have a bagel from the hotel before we went to the diner, I suppose."

Zayn frowns. "Bagel must not have been good. I ate what you did and I feel fine." 

"You didn't eat the bacon. Which reminds me, did you take your iron supplements for you anemia yet?"

He rolls his eyes at Liam, "Yes mother, I took them whilst you were busy stuffing your face with the fried mushrooms."

Liam smiles fondly. "Just making sure. Where are we headed anyhow?"

"We're in Wales. We can go to Cardiff if you want, maybe Newport, Knighton, or Milford Haven? We've never been to Milford Haven."

"Okay yeah, Milford Haven it is."

\--

When they get to the hotel and settle in, Liam's feeling like he might have the flu, and Zayn is in his over-protective mode in an instant. He looks through Liam's duffel for their first aid kit, pulling out paracetamol and a thermometer, and an ice pack for Liam's temperature. 

"If you mollycoddle me the way you did Niall when he got food poisoning, so help me Zayn I'm going to-"

"You aren't going to do anything Liam but get comfortable, get rest, and quit complaining. We aren't going anywhere till you get better."

Liam's eyes go wide, "But we agreed we wouldn't-"

"Stay in a place for more than two days, I know. But we're scrapping that rule completely if you're not better by then. Can't have you sick now can we?"

He doesn't respond, only pouts at Zayn and mopes as Zayn makes him tea and warm soup. 

In at least an hour, Liam's got a full blown temperature, he's coughing, and for a moment Liam's scared that he caught the flu, but Zayn tells him "Eating moldy bread gives you flu like symptoms sometimes. It happened to Danny when we were kids. You should be fine, first verse man."

Zayn climbs into bed next to Liam, winces a little when he feels just how hot Liam actually is, then hands him a bowl of soup. "Here. Eat some of this, might make you better. You packed your spoon, yeah?"

Liam nods, points to his duffel. "In the zipper pocket."

The spoon Liam packed is the one that Zayn bought him online. It's got a rubber handle with toy story designs and Liam's name in green letters down the handle. It's sort of like a child's spoon, but it's special to Liam, because Zayn bought it, put thought into it, and it's a badass spoon.

Liam decides he's gonna milk this while he can, makes Zayn feed him, and he does. Zayn doesn't even complain, he feeds Liam until the bowl is empty then makes him drink his tea, before giving him a bit more paracetamol.

"Sleep now, okay? We'll see where we are with you in the morning, and no waking up early. We'll sleep in."

"Okay, and Zayn?"

"Yes Liam?"

"Thanks for taking care of me."

"I would always take care of you."

"Well then thanks for being on this trip with me."

Zayn turns to Liam, his expression soft. "Liam, we're on this trip together. You and me, just trying to find time to live. Trying to find a way to make a day last. Find something that we both need. Of course I'd go on this trip with you, you're my best mate."

Liam nods, happy that he isn't disappointing his best friend, and he and Zayn lay there for another moment, just looking at one another, smiling and happy in their secret. 

"Zayn?"

"Yes Liam?"

"Stay in my bed tonight, okay? I mean...cause I heard it's gonna storm and all, and since I'm sick and-"

"I'll stay Liam. I'll stay."

\--

Liam wakes up first in the morning, only because his stomach is fighting him. Reluctantly, he leaves the comfort of Zayn's arms and he rushes to the bathroom, empties the contents of his belly miserably. When he finishes, he brushes his teeth and uses a bit of mouthwash to clean up, and turns the water on for a bath.

He's sweating, definitely not from Zayn's body heat, and the blankets on the bed weren't even that thick. He knows he's not exactly healthy, and in no shape for them to go on the road at all.

"Great. Time wasted." He mutters.

"It's not wasted time when there's a valid reason."

Zayn's standing in the doorway, shirtless and his long pajama trousers hanging dangerously low off of his hips. Liam's eyes linger for a moment too long, and he almost forgets to protest. 

By the time he remembers though, Zayn's already helping Liam strip out of his clothes and into the tub. He treats Liam almost like a child, squeezing the washcloth over Liam's head so the soapy water drenches him. Liam blinks when the water trails down, giving Zayn a disgruntled look.

Zayn only giggles, "You're bald and naked. Might as well be an adult sized baby." 

Liam blows soapy bubbles in Zayn's face and Zayn just shakes his head. "And now you're acting like one."

They smile playfully at one another and Zayn continues on his work, washing Liam's head and face and chest and back. Liam sighs because yeah, being taken care of is nice and Zayn's hands are careful and soothing. Against Liam's skin, the cloth is thin, and he can marvel in the gentle skill of Zayn's hands, but when his hand descends down the front of Liam's torso, he pauses, gives a fleeting look down then back to Liam's face. Liam opens his eyes, because "why'd you stop?"

Zayn just levels him with an "are you serious?" look. It takes a minute, but then he understands, because a crotch touch is normal in the band for banter, not for deliberation.

"You too sick to clean...yourself? Or your lower self, rather." The elder of them asks.

Liam raises a brow teasingly. "And if I am?"

Zayn narrows his eyes. "Right, when we get back, you're not hanging around Louis anymore." He hands Liam the washcloth, stands up. "Call me when you're done. Kay?"

Zayn shuts the door gently behind him and Liam sort of frowns. He takes the cloth and cleans himself up anyhow, humming along to a random tune in his head. As the scent of the hotel soap starts to tickle his nose, he sneezes once, and Zayn pops his head back in.

"Alright?"

Liam nods, his sinuses feeling slightly clogged. "Yeah, I'm okay. Can I have a towel, please?"

Zayn nods, pads back into the bathroom and wraps one of the fluffy white towels around Liam as he stands up. Together, they dry him off, before Zayn gets him into new pants and back into bed. Zayn hands him a glass of water and allergy tablets so Liam stops sneezing. 

"We'll give you more paracetamol around lunch, yeah? For now, just try and rest up." 

Liam nods, moves to get under the covers when Zayn catches his wrist. He runs his thumb soothingly into Liam's skin, and his eyes shut in content. "Hey. Liam, look at me."

Liam does, and Zayn's frowning. "Stop making that face, Payne. You aren't wasting time. You're sick and I'm taking care of you."

"But, isn't the whole reason why we're doing this to find time? Make use of it? Being sick isn't a great use."

"I don't care. I can't spend proper time with you if you've got a fever and you're getting sick all over the place. I want you to get better, and I'm gonna help you do that. I don't care how long it takes. Now stop making that face, stop arguing with me and sleep. You need it."

As thankful as he is for Zayn's caring and sweet words, it's besides the point. Liam opens his mouth to protest further, but shuts it when Zayn shoots him a warning look. The elder of them sighed, his expression softening, pleading. "Just until you're better, Liam. Please."

+++

Postcard #50

Leave it to Liam to get sick, yeah? No worries though. He just ate a bad bagel, it had mold on it and now Liam's paying the price. We're gonna settle down here for a bit. Just until he's better and then we're gonna head back out. No worries boys. I'll take care of him. That was in the band rules, right? The rules we wrote? That we'll "care for each other, nurture one another through everything." We haven't forgotten. 

Love, Zayn (Liam's too sick to write his name)

+++

It's two more days before Liam's actually okay to go back on the road. Of course Zayn is reluctant to actually move on to a different town, wanting some sort of substantial proof that Liam's "medically cleared" for them to start traveling again. But since going to a doctor is not only out of the way, but it risks them notifying Paul - which doesn't make sense because they're not minors, but for some reason they always call him when they make solo doctor visits - which also risks the boys, or worse, fans, actually locating them, so Zayn's got no choice but to take Liam's word for it.

So they're gonna make the trip. Liam's happy, bouncing around in the driver's seat and McFly's playing on the stereo; and it makes him feel great. He's healthy and he's okay and that's all that matters. 

He looks over at Zayn to smile, but stops, because Zayn is pouting.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Liam asks. He looks back to the road, finding the environment it rather familiar, but he can't place it.

Zayn sighs. "Nothing."

"I'm okay Zayn, really, I am." Liam assures.

"I know, I believe you. And you just missed the cutoff."

Liam actually focuses on the road now, and "Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine. We're back on the road, you choose, okay?"

Liam nods. "Okay. We'll just drive."

And they do, Liam humming loudly to "That's the Truth."

\--

They're in some town in Scotland when Liam feels like he might implode. 

It's been what? About three months since he's had some kind of relief. It's raining and granted their room is a little chilly, but he's heating up. He can't feel how hard he is in his boxers, can feel it resting against his stomach and can feel the sticky drop of precome leaking out of his tip.

If Liam's learned anything useful by now it's to be thankful for all those silent wanks he's had to do in the privacy of his own bunk with his curtains closed. Because Zayn's in the next bed, sound asleep, and facing Liam, who knows that if he stands to walk to the bathroom to wank in the shower, Zayn will hear him get up from bed and no doubt look at him and see what he's struggling with.

So as quietly as he can, he sneaks his hand under his waistband and wraps his fingers around the base of his shaft, squeezing lightly and beginning to stroke. He collects the come from his leaking tip and spreads it around, making it smoother for him to work himself. He shuts his eyes tightly, allowing him to focus on finishing himself quickly and quietly enough for him to just pretend he's going for a morning shower by the time Zayn actually wakes up.

Liam opens his eyes then, keeps them trained on Zayn's face, just to be sure that if he wakes he can stop automatically, pretend like he's just in a daze or summat. He tries to focus on how good it feels to finally relieve the tension, to get some of the stress out, but then tries to focus on the contours of Zayn's face. He tries to focus on any sign of movement from those long eyelashes resting against his cheeks, the flex of his relaxed and defined jaw, the movement of the rise and fall of his toned chest, any of that to change. 

He takes note of how relaxed Zayn is, and Liam wants to be relaxed like that too, so he quickens the movement of his hand. His thumb brushes under his head and Liam's head snaps the other way, a low rumble escaping his chest that he has to bite back so he doesn't moan out loud.

But somehow, he must have done so anyway. Because when he turns his head back to Zayn to make sure he isn't awake, Zayn's staring at him, expression sleepy.

Liam starts and his ministrations falter. "Z-Zayn, I-I was only - I mean - "

"Relax, Liam." Zayn says, voice wrecked from sleep and misuse and shit, Liam's cock actually twitches.

Damn his kink for morning voices.

"But I -"

"You were having a wank, it's okay. I can go shower if you want, let you finish." Zayn offers, sitting up. The blanket falls from his torso and to his lap, and Liam's eyes unashamedly brush over Zayn's tan body, his tattoos and the length and the way it goes, and he has to tear his eyes off and refocus them on Zayn's face. 

He can't check out his best friend while he's still got a hand wrapped around his cock.

Liam doesn't move, just stares, and Zayn sighs. He gets out of bed, clad in his briefs, and instead of walking to the shower like Liam expects, he actually walks towards Liam's bed. Zayn lifts the covers and climbs in beside Liam, and rests his hand on Liam's stomach.

He swallows, staring at Zayn's face. "W-What are you doing?"

"Shhh." Zayn says, his hand creeping down and replacing Liam's. "Just helping you out, yeah?"

Normally Liam would object, but personal space has never been an issue in the band before, and he'll be damned if he's going to let it matter now. 

Zayn's hands are much more delicate, they're gentle and less frantic and they feel so amazing compared to his own. He pumps Liam in smooth, perfectly timed strokes and let's Liam's head flop onto his shoulder. Zayn presses a kiss to Liam's forehead, then to his cheek, and then the corner of his mouth, but Liam isn't playing around. He turns his head, and locks his lips with Zayn.

This kiss isn't like the drunken ones they've shared, quick and for fun, or like the little kisses goodbye the boys in the band all give each other when they leave for holiday. This kiss means something different, because it's heated, like a filthy kiss straight from a porno.

When Liam sneaks his tongue into Zayn's mouth, Zayn retaliates by tightening his hold and pumping slowly in smooth tugs.

"Zayn, Zayn I-" Liam warns against his lips, but it's no use. He's too wrapped up, been untouched for so long and he's too close.

He shushes Liam, starts pumping faster. "It's okay Liam. Just let go."

And Liam does, body shuddering and coming all over Zayn's fingers and the underside of the duvet. Before Zayn can even move or Liam can even think about it, he's sneaking his hand into Zayn's briefs and wrapping it around Zayn's shaft, gripping tightly and pumping him quick and fast, and soon, with a few more tugs and hot kisses, Zayn's coming all over Liam's fingers, and both of them are laying there sated and the most satisfied they've been in months.

\--

After they shower, redress, checkout and head out on the road, Zayn's hand rests on Liam's thigh unexpectedly, and Liam almost swerves into the next lane.

"We should do that again, yeah?" Zayn murmurs.

Liam takes a quick look just to check, and no, Zayn isn't joking. "Do you want to?"

Zayn shrugs. "I don't mind if you don't."

Liam doesn't mind, doesn't mind at all. 

So they do it again two days later in a town outside Edinburgh, and the day right after that on the side of the road on their way to the next town.

And damn is Liam happy for leak of personal space in the One Direction rule book.

\--

Zayn stares at his reflection in the mirror of their soon-to-be old motel room and frowns. "So much for avoiding time." He mutters, because time is all over his face and head.

His hair has grown out quite a bit on the sides and on top. His hair falls into his face now, and he's got enough grown out at the nape of his neck that Harry could probably run his fingers through it the same way Zayn does to him. On his face, he's acquired a healthy amount of stubble, can't remember the last time he actually shaved enough that it was just skin.

Part of him contemplates going to a barber to get it cut, but as soon as the though enters his head he pushes it away. If anything, Liam can just cut it for him.

Whether or not it's a good cut, they can fix later.

Liam stops packing his bag to look up at him from the single bed, eyes tired. "You look fine. You've never let your hair grow out before and it looks good."

"Thanks." Zayn says, but puts a beanie on anyway. He gives a kiss to Liam's lips - something they've become accustomed to doing lately - and laces their fingers together. 

They check out at the front and both avoid the basket of bagels near the buffet on the way out, just to be safe, then put their bags in the boot of the car and head out into the cool night air.

They're about an hour away in the next town over when they pull up at a stoplight. Zayn's looking over the buildings and the shops when Liam shakes his shoulder, and Zayn turns to find Liam pointing straight ahead, eyes wide.

It's a music shop, and in the window are three pictures side by side; the first is a large, blown up poster of the Take Me Home album cover, another from their Teen Vogue shoot, and the last is old, from one of the many photoshoots they did for Up All Night. 

Zayn's expression matches Liam's in milliseconds, and they immediately ruffle for sunglasses and roll up their windows. It takes everything that Liam's got to not step on the gas and floor it when the light turns green.

It's obvious that they can't settle down in this town, but "the next town isn't for another two hours. And I'm exhausted."

Liam looks at Zayn, then back to the road. "So am I. But we can't keep driving like this, sunglasses, I mean."

Zayn has to admit he's right. He's guilty of having done it a few times, but he overall thinks that people who wear sunglasses at night are a bit weird, so he takes his off, and sighs heavily.

"So what do we do, then?" 

Liam pauses, and Zayn knows what he's thinking. If Louis were here, he'd have a plan. It'd just be like that night in Australia when Louis had convinced Zayn to wander around and they ended up walking miles away from their hotel and being chased by fans. Louis came up with the idea of climbing up onto the roof of a closed building and waiting out till Paul got there.

Louis always has the best plans, he's good under pressure and if he's got Harry for a sidekick, Harry's pretty good at making do with a shitty situation and turning it around. Niall is great for a situation like this too. He normally just takes in what they're working with and just goes for it, doesn't have to wait around to contemplate.

If the boys were here, it wouldn't be as bad as it is. But just the two of them? It could end up like Liam and Niall's little stroll in New York City all over again, except this time Liam doesn't put it past some fans to actually chase their car.

"We could turn around and head the other way?" Liam suggests.

"That'll take another hour, and I don't think either you or me will be awake enough by then to still be able to drive." Zayn reasons. 

"So...we're out of options, then." Liam supplies. They're both panicking, but they've got no other choice than the town that they're in. They drive a little till they find a small hotel, and grab their bags.

When they walk in, they walk fast, and straight for the check in desk. Liam looks a little wary, because the girl who's helping them looks young enough to know who they are, and he bumps Zayn slightly.

"So one room then?" She asks, and they both nod eagerly.

Zayn's heart is beating rapidly, and he wonders if Liam can hear it pounding through his small frame. The woman starts typing something on her computer, and takes out two key cards - though they won't need it, not in this town, cause they're pretty much going to hole up in the room until they have to leave - but then she curses quietly.

"Sorry, hold on, these aren't working. I have to go to the back for a moment."

And when she disappears behind the doors, Liam turns to Zayn, eyes wide. "If she doesn't hurry up, then-"

"Liam I love you but don't you dare finish that sentence. We're already in shit, don't jinx us."

Liam shuts his mouth, fingers tapping against the desk and shifting his weight from foot to foot. Zayn rests his hand over Liam's and laces their fingers together to calm him down. Minutes pass and the girl still isn't back yet, and Zayn looks uncomfortably at his watch. When the fifteen minute mark passes, the front doors open and a chorus of laughter circles the lobby. 

In a skipped beat of recognition, Zayn and Liam tense, Zayn's hand tightening around Liam's. 

They've had enough experience over the past couple years as a band to distinguish between the laughter and voices of teenage girls, and women coming from a club or a party. 

Zayn casts a quick glance over his shoulder, then withdraws his hand, letting it fall back to his side as he looks back to Liam, expression petulant. "You miserable twat, you jinxed us. There's five of them."

"I'm sorry." Liam mutters earnestly. "Do you think they know it's us?"

Zayn and Liam are both wearing long sleeved shirts, so their tattoos are covered, and Zayn's still got his beanie on. Liam's hair's still in a buzzcut, which they can't really fix, but they can cover. So Zayn gives him the beanie, figures the fans won't recognize him with his longer hair anyhow, and keeps his eyes forward. He sneaks another glance over his shoulder, and then snaps his head forward.

"One of them is wearing an Up All Night tour shirt." Zayn says, keeping his tone down. "Another is wearing stripes and red jeans. We're dead meat."

They can hear the group of girls approaching quicker and quicker, which causes them to move a little closer to each other just out of natural reaction - they've always tended to move closer, always tended to get into a little huddle when fans got too close - only this time they don't have Niall to keep in the center, this time it's not Harry and Liam at the front, the strong ones pushing through as best as they can behind security with Zayn and Louis at Niall's flank, trying to keep up. 

This time, it's just them two, and they're more afraid than they normally would be.

Because this time, if they get recognized, they have to go back. They have to leave and abandon their time at peace to head back to the lives they love, but need a little more time to understand. They'll have to go back to their world of set schedules and commands and invisible cuffs on their wrists and ankles trying to keep them in line when that's who they never were. The five of them, never one for expectations and control, always free spirits. Liam and Zayn need this break. 

They need this time to just relax and escape the boundaries they always break anyway, just to let loose for a little while.

They brush fingers when the voices get louder, and they can feel the girls approaching. Liam and Zayn are ready to bolt if they have to, can feel them getting closer and closer and closer and -

"Here we go! Sorry for the wait. There was a slight malfunction but it's all fixed now. So here's your keycards, and have a nice stay!" 

Liam thanks whatever powers that be for impeccable timing and Zayn thanks the girl in a hurry. They grab their bags and dart straight for the lifts, avoiding the girls narrowly and letting out their biggest sigh of relief so far once the doors to the lift close. Zayn mutters something about not tipping the girl at the front desk and customer service, and Liam laughs. Zayn shoots him a look, incredulous, but laughs along with him.

"We always get away with it, don't we?" Liam says between his giggles, and that makes Zayn laugh because yeah.

They always get away with the damnedest things.

\--

They leave the next morning, checking out by phone call and leaving before the sun fully can escape from beyond the horizon. Zayn's driving now, Liam resting his head against the cool window and dozing just a little bit. He admires Liam's sleeping face for a moment, then steals a smile for himself, recounting the night's events.

They narrowly escaped being caught, escaped the craze that was bound to ensue, and the crazy part?

Zayn didn't know how to feel.

He had to admit, yeah, he didn't want to go back. He wanted to find the time he lost, to just live and enjoy things and be normal for a little. He wanted that with Liam. He wanted both of them to be able to wake up whenever, do whatever, be open to anything and everything. 

But he also wanted that with his boys. 

He missed Harry. Missed petting his curls when Harry got upset and joking around with him on stage. He missed jamming out with Niall and protecting him. He missed running around with Louis and causing trouble wherever they saw fit and having heart to hearts on hotel balconies. He missed singing with all of them, side by side, going everywhere and living out the dreams they fought for together.

There was no doubt in his mind Liam missed them too. 

It's just hard. He has a world at home with his family and friends, a world with the boys that he loves very much, but now? He has his own little world with Liam too. And he's starting to love this world a lot.

He pulls over at a service station, refills the tank and buys a new postcard to send to the boys later on, and Liam's still sleeping. Zayn knows they've been in Scotland and Wales for too long, and taking the ferry to Ireland is out of the question entirely.

They have to head back into England. 

So he silently hopes Liam won't hate him for it, will understand that they're still in their world, but they have to go back. Not to go home, just to go somewhere new.

+++

Postcard #53

Hey lads! How's it all going? Boy have we got a story for you. We almost got recognized by fans, nearly shat our pants, we did. But we're okay. Liam's been doing well, I've been doing well, and we miss you both like crazy, okay? But we're closer than you think.

Not long now. See you soon, lads.

Love, Zayn and Liam

P.S. Personal space, who needs it?

+++

"tell me the story   
about how the sun  
 loved the moon so much   
he died every night   
to let her breathe"

Zayn stares at the quote, graffitied onto a brick wall and wants to cry. He's in a "deep" mood, feels weightless and happy and this? This quote makes him hold Liam's hand and turn his head to him with an awestruck smile.

"Thank you, Liam." He says quietly.

Liam looks at Zayn and his heart sort of flutters. Zayn's hair is still mused up and ruffled from their little romp this morning at the hotel, and Liam didn't have the heart to tell him how messy it was because he looked so damn cute.

They're in some town in between Carlisle and Newcastle at a street art festival, which Liam thought would be nice to see for Zayn's sake. They've got loads of different murals and paintings, some sculptures that Liam knows he could never even dream of creating, and they love it. 

"Of course, Zayn." Liam replies, and squeezes Zayn's hand in reassurance. They browse around a little bit, buy caramel popcorn, then head back to the car with matching bracelets, like the threaded ones Harry used to wear all the time.

They're driving down the street in search of a new hotel, a new place to stay that will keep them safe, when an array of bright lights and "fun time" music makes its way into their ears. They both recognize the sound, have smiles growing on their faces as the approach the fair.

It's an unspoken agreement when Liam turns into the lot and parks the car, and they head into the fairgrounds hand in hand, beaming like five year old boys. 

It's crowded, yes, and with all the adolescent girls it is a huge risk for them being caught, but everyone there is too occupied with the festivities to so much as spare the boys a glance. If any of them are fans, they're under the impression that all of One Direction have been under the watch and care of the best doctors for dehydration and exhaustion treatment, nursing the boys back to their health.

None of them are expecting any of the boys to be out of London, let alone be at this little fair. 

So Zayn and Liam are going to enjoy it.

"Two festivals in one day? I like this." Liam says, and Zayn let's out a laugh, drags him toward the Ferris Wheel.

\--

Zayn's on Liam's back, Liam supporting Zayn's legs as Zayn has his own arms loosely wrapped around Liam's neck, eating a caramel apple that's been cut into smaller pieces for simpler eating. Zayn's wearing these big and blue ridiculous circle shaped glasses and a pink cheetah print top hat, whilst Liam's got a purple monkey with long arms hanging from around his neck and an orange wizard's hat on his head. Both boys have a strip of photos in their pockets from the photobooth they found, and it's a well spent adventure.

It's getting dark again, and they still have to find a hotel room to settle down in for the night. So they make their way towards the front entrance, waiting in the long queue to leave the grounds.

"Can't wait to get you back to the room." Zayn whispers into Liam's neck.

Liam shivers, laughs once. "No more caramel apples for you, think you're getting a sugar rush."

"This sugar rush is telling me to blow you tonight."

"Christ, Zayn. Seriously." Liam whispers. He doesn't have to look at Zayn to know that he's smirking.

Just as they're almost halfway out, Zayn feels something hard hit his back, and he flinches. Liam almost drops Zayn at his outburst.

"What?" Liam asks him, and Zayn frowns.

"I think someone threw something at me." He pouts.

Before Liam can turn them around, there's a little baby laugh that lets out behind them.

"'Ayn!" The laugh says. "Weeam!" 

And then Liam freezes, his arms dropping from Zayn legs as Zayn drops to the ground on his feet, caramel apple falling out of his hands. When he lands, Zayn catches a glimpse of what was thrown at him. 

It's a pink dummy with a white handle. 

And he and Liam both know the baby who owns it.

"Lux where's ya dummy? You've thrown it again 'aven't ya? Let's see then, where is it? Oh!"

Zayn squeezes his eyes shut when he sees a hand reach for it, and flinches when Liam grabs his own hand for comfort.

"Did she throw this at you? I'm so sorry, she's-"

There's a pause, and a silence that lets Zayn know he and Liam are pretty much done for. He waits for a cry of outrage, a hand to smack him in his face or for someone to call him names and tell him how selfish he and Liam have been. But instead, he feels an arm fly around him, pulling him and Liam into a tight hug that knocks the breath out of all three of them. 

"Oh you two!" Lou exclaims. She sounds teary and worn out. "I should kill you. I should bring you both in and let Paul put you under house arrest for the rest of your lives!"

"Lou, not here." A voice says.

They look up at Tom, who's carrying Lux in his arms, and they both smile at Zayn and Liam. 

"Hey boys, alright?"

Zayn nods. "Yeah, good to see you mate."

Lux makes grabby hands, reaching forward for Zayn. Lou pulls back as Zayn takes his hand away from Liam's to embrace Lux, bouncing her in his arms. Liam pokes her cheek and she let's out a giggle, eyes crinkling as if she's adapted it from Liam himself.

"Right then, you're coming with us. We're staying at a rental house not too far from here and you're coming with and you're going to tell us everything. No arguments. No protests." Lou insists. She grabs Liam's wrists and drags them toward the exit.

\--

Liam's settled on a loveseat of the rental house Lou and Tom have. Zayn is in Lux's room, putting her to sleep. Tom would've done it himself, but the moment Lux even sensed that she was going to leave Zayn's arms, she began to wail and cry. So Tom went out for a smoke and left Zayn to it.

Lou brings in two mugs of tea and gives one to Liam, then sets the other on the coffee table. 

It's silent for a moment, and Liam just stares at the steam forming from his mug, unsure of...well everything. 

Because this is it. He and Zayn's little vacation is over. After countless numbers of cities and towns, hiding in motel rooms and hotel rooms and keeping quiet, out of the radar, seeing everything they've wanted to and doing whatever they wanted, it's over. A nearly five month journey just over in one little night.

He wonders if Lou called Harry or Louis on their way here when they were leading Liam and Zayn to the house. Wonders if while Liam and Zayn struggled to not turn around in their own car and go somewhere else, that in Tom's car, they were on the phone to the others going "they're alive!" or "we'll bring them home for you."

But he knows Lou wouldn't do that. He also knows he owes everyone an apology. So he says "I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry."

Lou smiles sadly, moves to sit on the arm of Liam's love seat and rubs his shoulders comfortingly. "Don't apologize Liam. It's alright."

"No it's not!" he spits out. "Nothing was staying the same anymore, everything was so busy and none of it would stop! We couldn't catch a breath. Even a small holiday, even a day off wasn't enough because we had a deadline, and we didn't want that!"

Lou doesn't scream, doesn't yell, just lets him go on in sobbing declaration.

"You don't know what it was like. I mean, you do, but it just...to have everyone shove you this way and that. Tell you when to wake up, when ti eat lunch, when to sleep, when to be happy and sad, it just...it didn't make sense! Even on stage, where it all was just so free, that ended. Zayn and I felt weightless, felt happy when it started. But then we're singing the last song, and then we had to say goodbye to the fans. And we get off stage with this rush like we just wanna go back on stage and redo it over and over till we get too tired, but we still have to get on the bus and leave. It just wasn't enough. Going home, we still had to leave. The start of every song leads to the end. Nothing was long enough. None of it lasted. None."

"Liam," Lou says softly. "It doesn't last forever, I get that. I get that it's what you both wanted, for one moment to last as long as it could. But...time doesn't stop for anyone, you know that. You both do."

Liam nods, head in his hands as he sobs.

"Haven't you listened to Louis by now? Hasn't spending all that time with him taught you boys anything?" Lou asks.

"What do you mean?" Liam asks.

Lou shakes her head. "'Live life for the moment, because everything else is uncertain.' Or how about 'Live fast, have fun, and be a bit mischievous.' Or what about that song you all sang, hm? 'Let’s go crazy, crazy, crazy ’til we see the sun...' C'mon Liam, sing it with me."

Liam laughs at her. "You're delusional."

"And you're not singing!" She says. "'I know we only met but let’s pretend it’s loveee.'"

Liam sighs in resignation. "'And never, never, never stop for anyone. Tonight let’s get some, and live while we’re young.'"

"There you go!" Lou says, and they both laugh. Liam smiles genuinely, and rests his head on her arm. 

"I'm sorry, Lou, I am. Zayn is too. We didn't mean to worry anyone, we just needed a break, you know? A break where we could determine just exactly when we wanted it to end. I mean, we sent postcards."

"I know," Lou says. "The boys have every single one. They miss you, you know. A lot. Couldn't stop crying when they found your rooms empty that day."

Liam frowns. "We didn't want to hurt them."

"I know Liam. They know that too. Why do you think they've been so supportive of you?"

"Because we're idiots." 

Lou laughs, "Well yeah. But because they love you. A lot."

"I know. I love them too. Still. I'm sorry." 

They're quiet again, and Lou smiles sadly, reading Liam's mind. "Yes, little one. You do have to go back. I can't just let you and Zayn go back out there on another sexcapade."

Liam's eyebrows shoot to his forehead. "Excuse me?"

Lou stands, and shrugs. "Oh please, I saw you two holding hands. You've never made heart eyes like that at him before either. Louis may have taught you to lie about many things, but that? No, you can't lie about that."

Liam doesn't know how to react. "We weren't on a sexcapade."

"Not what your jeans said when you let Zayn down. Not what his jeans said either."

"Lou!"

"Well 'ard, Liam. Well 'ard."

Liam blushes, and Lou excuses herself to the kitchen, dialing a number on the way.

"Hey Paul? It's Lou. I've good news!"

\--

"You fucking twats!"

"Don't you ever run off like that again and not take us!"

"Do you realize that you could've been kidnapped!"

"What the fuck were you two thinking?!"

"Have you gone mad?!"

"Postcards?! All you could give us were postcards and tourist novelties?! Not even a hello or something?!"

"A 'we aren't dead yet' would have sufficed!"

"I can't believe you ran away!"

"Well?! What do you have to say for yourselves?!"

Liam and Zayn have only been in the doorway to Niall's flat for at least a minute. The moment the key turned and Zayn pushed the door open, he had to unlace his fingers from Liam's as quick as he could, because Harry, Niall, and Louis were yelling within seconds - no hugs, no nothing, just yelling and standing with their arms crossed.

"Well?!" Harry repeats.

Zayn and Liam drop their bags and sigh. In synchronicity, they hold their arms open wide, and brace themselves. The impact is enough to knock all five of them to the floor, a tangle of limbs and weeping boys.

"I hate you." Louis bites out, arms tight around Zayn's waist.

"You owe me for the next ten years." Niall says, face buried in Liam's chest.

"I should run you both over with my cars." Harry says, cradling both boys close. 

Liam shuts his eyes, fighting back tears. He really has missed them. "We love you too, boys."

"Missed you lots." Zayn says.

They all get to their feet, and Niall starts towing them to the spare room, one hand on Zayn's wrist, the other on Liam's, almost like he's afraid they'll run away again.

"We kept your postcards." He says.

Zayn nods. "Yeah, Lou said you did."

When they enter the spare room, the first thing Zayn sees is that instead of the bare walls are carpeted floors, there are three sleeping bags, and on the wall nearest the door, there's a large map of the UK, almost the size of the wall, and there's every postcard they've sent the boys over the city they were sent from, including the most recent one.

"Fifty three postcards." Harry murmurs. "Fifty three times we wanted to  go out and find you, go out and join you guys."

"But we knew by the time we got out there, you'd be onto the next city already, long gone." Louis says, and Liam frowns at him, at all his boys.

"We're sorry. We are." He says, voice cracking.

"We wanted to bring you," Zayn agrees, "We did. But we couldn't."

"It's still not fair." Niall accuses. His voice is small and he's let go of their wrists, looking petulantly at the both of them. "You think you two were the only ones who were dealing with this shit? We needed a break too, we all did! You could've just talked to us. We could've done this together. We got to where we are because all five of us were in this, all of us. Don't you remember that? Or have you forgotten?!"

Liam shakes his head, "No, Niall we didn't."

Zayn takes a step forward, and Niall takes one back. "Niall, we're sorry - "

"No!" Niall exclaims, and they all flinch. "No. We promised each other. Whatever the hardships, we'd go through it together, as a band, as family! And you broke that promise."

Niall stomps out and into the hallway, and the front door slams moments later.

Harry frowns. "He'll come around. He's just...Niall kind of took it the hardest when you left. You remember that phonecall, don't you?"

Zayn nods, swallows the lump in his throat. "Yeah."

Louis claps his hands together, "Right then. Let's go get you boys unpacked then, yeah? Big day tomorrow."

\--

The next day is full of interviews at their rehearsal space.

They talk to radio shows and tv networks and magazines and newspapers, always giving them the same story;

"We weren't feeling right as a band," one of them would say. "It was just a lot, day to day, doing so much and losing track of time, track of ourselves. We didn't catch the enormity of the situation until we were in the middle of rehearsals one day and we just knew we couldn't keep at it anymore as much as we really wanted to. We didn't want to disappoint anyone, especially not the fans, we just needed a bit of time for ourselves. We are back now, and we're good to start work. We're still the same boys, better now, even. We just want to thank all of the fans for their continuous support and patience, and we hope that what we've got coming soon will be worth the wait.."

When they wrap up the last one before the lunch break, Zayn stands, goes to talk to Niall, but he bolts before Zayn gets the chance, heading to the door and out to his car. Zayn sighs, punches a wall and retreats to the loo.

Liam follows Zayn with his eyes, and then turns to meet Louis and Harry's matching confused expressions.

"I'll go talk to him, okay?" He offers, and the boys nod.

When Liam walks into the restroom, Zayn's clutching the countertop, head hanging and his shoulders rising in deep breaths. Liam can hear how ragged his breathing actually is though, and he knows that Zayn's crying.

"Hey, hey. It's alright." Liam soothes, placing his hands on Zayn's shoulders. Zayn lifts his head and looks at Liam through the mirror, before turning and throwing his arms around Liam's neck. Liam holds him tightly by his waist.

"This is awful, Liam! What have we done?! Niall hates us!"

Liam shakes his head. "He doesn't hate us, Zayn. He never could."

"Well I wouldn't put it past him." Zayn says. "I wouldn't put it past any of them. How could we have been so selfish?! We almost lost everything."

Liam cups Zayn's tear-streaked face in his hands, and presses their foreheads together. "Listen to me, okay?" He whispers. "I regret what we did just as much as you do. But we knew our intentions, we knew what we were doing wasn't a bad thing, and the boys understand. They're upset, yes, but you know it's nothing we can't work out together, yeah?"

Zayn nods. "Yeah, okay."

Liam presses his lips to Zayn's gently, then more firmly when he feels Zayn relax. Zayn goes pliant, brings his hands to curl with Liam's by his face as they mold their lips together. They share a few pecks before Liam stops, keeping his forehead against Zayn's.

"We'll get through this." He says, kisses Zayn again. "We will. 

"You promise?" 

Liam nods. "I promise."

Zayn seems to be fine with that, brings a hand to Liam's cheek and pulls him in, kissing him in thank you. He snakes his other hand up Liam's shirt, resting his fingers against Liam's stomach and rubbing small circles into his skin. Liam moves his fingers into Zayn's hair, presses their bodies closer and tries to grind his hips forward as he bites down on Zayn's lip. 

Zayn's oncoming moan is cut off when the door to the restroom swings open.

"Guys, they said we could break for lunch now if-"

Louis stops short, and Harry lets out an "oof!" when he runs into Louis's back. 

Liam and Zayn make an interesting picture. They're like deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and panicky, Zayn's hair mussed from Liam's fingers, Liam's shirt rucked up, chest flushed, and both of them bearing straining jeans.

"Well." Harry says, eyes hard. "And were you going to tell us about this? Or were you gonna run off with this secret too?"

Liam shakes his head, "Harry, don't. You-"

"Don't you dare say I don't understand, Liam." Harry bites back. "We've understood everything you two have done. What makes you think I don't understand this too?"

Zayn moves from Liam's grasp. "Harry, we-"

"No Zayn." Louis interjects. "Harry's right. We've understood. We let you have the time you said you needed. Was the time really used for you two to run off together?"

"No! We used the time like we said, this just...this happened, and we didn't expect it, we swear! It just happened. That's all." Zayn exclaims.

Harry shakes his head. "No secrets in the band. That's a rule, and you know it. When were you gonna tell us?"

"When everything blew over. When Niall stopped being mad and when everything went back to normal. It was supposed to be happy news." Liam says, keeping his tone even.

Louis glares. "We are happy for you. Believe me, just let us get the taste of betrayal out of our mouths first."

"We didn't betray you, stop being so dramatic! We just couldn't tell you so soon. We weren't gonna drop news one after another on you guys, that's not fair and it would be too much to take in." Zayn says.

"Well bit of a newsflash then, don't make out in public bathrooms." Harry states.

"Yeah," says Louis. "Haven't either of you learned from Harry's snogs?"

There's a beat of silence, before Harry quirks a smirk, and goes "Heyyy, that's not nice," and then they're all laughing at each other, and the tension dissolves.

"Right then. I'll go get Niall, calm him down, tell him the news. You two just...keep it down till we get back, yeah? The attention and those weird things in your pants, I mean." Harry jokes, and ducks out of the bathroom before either Zayn or Liam can hit him. 

Louis turns to them and smiles. "So. Ziam, huh? What a nice surprise. At least the fans are gonna like that this part came from 'our time off' these past few months. When we decide to tell them, that is."

Zayn laughs. "Yeah. And you'll have our backs then too, right?"

"Of course," Louis insists. Then he breaks into a smile and embraces the both of them. "Welcome home, by the way. Missed you loads. Oh and uh, Liam? I broke a vase in your house in a fit of rage."

"You what?!" Liam exclaims. Louis breaks the hug and begins to retreat.

"I was angry! And Zayn..."

Zayn narrows his eyes. "No. You didn't. Please tell me you didn't."

Louis shrugs. "Okay. I won't tell you that I stabbed your Tekken characters through tears of despair."

"You savage!" Zayn shouts. 

They spend the rest of lunch break chasing Louis around the studio, seeking vengeance for their broken possessions. When Zayn and Liam finally catch him and Louis screams "uncle," they share a chaste victory kiss.

+++

"Thank you London!" They all exclaim, bowing to the stadium full of cheers and screams and cries of their beloved fans, who after two months of re-interaction and many apologies in the forms of video diaries and endless tweets, have let the whole hiatus situation blow over and accepted the boys back with open and loving arms, just as they always would.

The boys rush to the dressing rooms in a fit of adrenaline from performing, joking around and shoving each other playfully. 

When the door shuts, Harry lets out a loud sigh. "Well what next boys? We've got the rest of the night and all of tomorrow morning off. What's say we wreak a bit of havoc?"

"Can't, sorry. Got plans." Liam says, opening a new water bottle and chugging it.

Louis groans. "What? You and Zayn can't plan these plans for another day? It's the first night of tour!" 

"We know that," Zayn says. "But these plans can't wait. Sorry boys."

"What are you hiding? Another day off?" Niall questions with a smirk, tossing his shoe at Harry's leg.

Liam laughs. "Nothing okay? Just wanna spend some time alone."

"Right then! One steaming hot order of alone time coming right up! Both puns intended, by the way. Enjoy boys! Be safe!" Louis calls, tossing a wink over his shoulder as he ushers Niall and Harry out of the room.

Zayn and Liam smile in the quiet, and get dressed quickly before heading out into the night air. Their experience with staying incognito has come in handy, so they manage past fans and other passerby's and catch a cab back to their place.

They're still in the moving process, so a lot of their things have yet to be unpacked, and Liam doesn't mind it.

They've got all the time in the world, after all.

The both of them sit down in their bedroom and open a few boxes, start rifling through them to at least make some progress. They take out a few pictures and little things they can hang on the wall, find a few things that they aren't sure why they packed and decide to deal with later. When Liam opens a rather light box, he smiles.

"These are quite ridiculous." He says, holding up the blue glasses from the night of the fair.

Zayn smiles and moves to sit by him as they look through it together. The hats, the monkey, they're both in there. And that's all in the box, just their things from the fair. Even the neon green bracelets they got for entry. 

"We'll have to go back soon, yeah?" Zayn murmurs, fingers tracing the pink cheetah print.

Liam nods, "Yeah. With the boys this time though, right?"

"Of course." Zayn says, then presses a kiss to Liam's lips. "Whenever we can. We've all the time in the world."

And Liam thinks that if they've learned anything from their trip, it's just that. They have time at their hands, to do whatever they want, whenever they please.


End file.
